i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
