If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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