wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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