farters have to be the big spoon...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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