Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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