I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize