No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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