I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
