you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
