Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The Olympian is in my bed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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