I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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