Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
