dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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