I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
