There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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