I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
