Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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