Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Boobs are out for the taking
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
