We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
