Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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