Farmville is her only friend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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