Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
