Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
