Don't make out with my wife yet
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
