Dual....:-)
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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