she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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