If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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