By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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