i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
