just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
