Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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