Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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