dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
