There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
