Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
