so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
