Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
