Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize