She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
