How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
