Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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