Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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