Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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