i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
