we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
