Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
honey bunches of taint.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
