you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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