i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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