Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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