Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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