that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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