you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
