stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He shit in the fireplace
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think i got beer on your cat.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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