i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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