Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
FUCK WHALES
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
