she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
