Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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