Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
