When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
