Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
