Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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