Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
