I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
